Newbury Park Christian Counseling, Author at Newbury Park Christian Counseling

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So far Newbury Park Christian Counseling has created 29 blog entries.

Surviving Infidelity: What to Do After an Affair

Surviving Infidelity: What to Do After an Affair

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2024-07-10T09:38:20+00:00March 21st, 2023|Couples Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A committed, intimate relationship with another person can be a little like an ocean, with depths and shallows, calm and turbulent stretches, and an endless horizon that can seem at once an invitation to adventure and a daunting prospect. Within a marriage or other committed romantic relationship, the people commit to stick by each other and be faithful to one another. They form a union that sets them apart for each other, but that union can encounter a serious squall in the form of infidelity. Infidelity is a reality that has plagued relationships likely for as long as there have been relationships. Websites, magazines, movies, songs, social media, and more are constantly abuzz with infidelity and engage it from one angle or another. It functions as a plot point in films, or as fodder for salacious gossip about a celebrity or politician. These different spaces sometimes suggest ways to cheat without getting caught, give ideas for surviving infidelity, and even promote different types of infidelity. Amid all this, it’s helpful to get a clear-eyed perspective that draws on Biblical wisdom to understand not only why infidelity happens, but its human cost and ways to repair the damage it causes. What is infidelity? The word infidelity doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. For some people, infidelity is about having sex with a person other than the one you’re in a committed relationship with. This would include situations as diverse as a one-night stand with a stranger or colleague, soliciting prostitution or making use of an escort service, or a long-term affair. Some consider kissing infidelity, while others only consider sex to be infidelity. For other people, infidelity includes having a deep emotional entanglement with someone other than your spouse, whether or not it includes sexual intercourse. And others consider [...]

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How to Prevent Anxiety from Ruining a Good Time

How to Prevent Anxiety from Ruining a Good Time

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2024-07-10T09:39:26+00:00January 26th, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Why is it that whenever anything goes our way, we always seem to find a way to diminish our achievements or our good fortune? Our anxiety minimizes the success or put a damper on our triumphs to make them seem less impressive. In this article we'll take a look at how to prevent anxiety from ruining a pleasant experience. Compliments and good feedback might be difficult for some women to take in and believe when they receive them. They put a lot of effort into becoming parents, partners, friends, and coworkers, but they aren’t comfortable claiming their strengths because nervous portions of themselves make them feel “less than” or that they aren’t good enough. What exactly is going on here? In therapy, clients sometimes express themselves as follows: “I feel like an imposter.” You put in the effort, and you’re pleased with where your efforts are leading you to direct your energies. After that, there is a whisper that says, “If they only knew the truth, they’d see that I don’t know what I’m doing.” It causes you to question the veracity of all of your previous achievements. “I don’t want to put a damper on my own good luck.” You can argue with yourself that if you acknowledge the positive, you are inviting failure or unlucky circumstances into your life. You should try to have as few achievements as possible, either to better prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome or to prevent undesirable events from taking place. Your preoccupation with the possibility that undesirable events will occur in the future prevents you from appreciating what is now in the here and now. “I’m nobody extraordinary.” When someone compliments you, you may respond by saying, “It was easy. I didn’t put in any real effort at all. That [...]

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Dealing with Signs of Early Onset Dementia in a Loved One

Dealing with Signs of Early Onset Dementia in a Loved One

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2024-07-10T09:43:13+00:00November 22nd, 2022|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

More than fifty-five million people globally have dementia, with more than ten million new cases diagnosed annually. Early onset dementia refers to people being affected who are under sixty-five years old. Dementia is not a single disease but is instead an umbrella term given to a range of symptoms that impact a person’s memory and ability to think, process information, and communicate with others. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia but is not the only one. Vascular dementia is the second most common cause, and there are other diseases including dementia with Lewy bodies and frontotemporal dementia. Frontotemporal dementia has the highest rate of early onset dementia in people younger than sixty-five, with most cases diagnosed in people between the ages of forty-five and sixty-five. Signs and symptoms of early onset dementia While it is more difficult for an individual to become aware of early onset dementia in themselves, the signs may be more apparent to a loved one, such as a spouse or a child. Dementia gives rise to different symptoms in people, and they are experienced uniquely, but some common behaviors might sound warning bells. These common signs of dementia include memory loss, difficulty concentrating, difficulties in performing everyday tasks (such as computer work or making a familiar recipe), finding the right words during conversation, a sense of confusion about place and time, and personality changes or mood swings. If you notice these changes in yourself or someone close, they will typically be very mild in the beginning, and either stay the same as a type of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) or worsen. It is important to take note of the symptoms seen and track them over a short period before consulting with a doctor concerning them. The most common signs of Alzheimer’s disease [...]

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Ways to Manage Stress and Balance Family

Ways to Manage Stress and Balance Family

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2022-09-28T08:56:29+00:00September 28th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Stress is difficult not to experience. It is the innate ability of our bodies to recognize danger and react to it by running away or preparing to fight. However, we no longer need to worry about hungry animals chasing after us for their dinner. Still, we must manage stress from other stressors like mortgage payments, rent, utilities, grocery prices, transportation issues, and work problems. How can we balance family life with other stressors when the child-rearing season is a stressor? Find ways to manage stress as a family instead of trying to do it alone. It is time to combine relaxation with quality family time. There are ways to manage stress and balance family, and a Christian counselor can help you learn them. Effects of chronic stress Stress raises cortisol in the body and creates a cascade of adverse effects. The following are common symptoms of chronic stress: Rapid heart rate Increased blood pressure Changes in appetite Rapid changes in weight Gastrointestinal issues Susceptible to illness and viruses Sleep problems Anxiety Depression Headaches Chronic inflammation Hormone imbalance Heart attack Stroke Diabetes Memory problems Panic attacks Unexplained aches and pains Chronic stress causes physical, emotional, and mental problems. If you are experiencing any of the listed symptoms, check with your primary doctor to rule out any medical conditions. A counselor can also help you narrow down the source of your stress and offer suggestions on minimizing the impact on your health. We often forget to lean on God when we feel our worries and fears suffocate us. But God should be our first line of defense. The Bible commands us not to fear. The most spiritual beneficial activity you can engage in with your family is reading the Bible together. Spending a few minutes daily as a family to pray, study, [...]

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When You Lose Someone: Bible Verses About Loss

When You Lose Someone: Bible Verses About Loss

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2024-03-28T12:36:08+00:00November 15th, 2021|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Bible verses about loss? Maybe this article will help. The connections that we form with the people in our lives are precious. We put ourselves on the line whenever we love someone, exposing ourselves to potential heartache. As C.S. Lewis once wrote in The Four Loves: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” For us to be fully human, we need to love others and be in relationship with them, and so the route of selfishness, while it seems safer, is the route towards being something less than human. If to love is to be vulnerable, then nowhere is that vulnerability shown more than when we lose a loved one. Bible Verses About Loss The loss of a loved one is a hardship all of us will face at one point in our lives or another. It’s part of the human condition, and so it’s no wonder that the Bible addresses this all-too-human reality. Although we all experience loss, that does not mean that we all experience it the same way. The Bible gives us wisdom and words of encouragement that can sustain us regardless of the journey we find ourselves on. Here are several Bible verses about loss. A time and season for everything Having a keen and open-eyed understanding of the [...]

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Asking for Forgiveness: When, Why, and How

Asking for Forgiveness: When, Why, and How

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2024-03-28T12:38:13+00:00September 21st, 2021|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

In every relationship, be it at work or in your personal life, there comes a time when things go wrong. Promises are made and they aren’t kept, thoughtless actions happen, or words are spoken that should not have been. When that happens, we have several options. We can choose to double down and defend ourselves for what we said, did, or didn’t say or do. Some people will go as far as gaslighting others, telling them that they never said or did what they are being accused of. Or we can choose to apologize, recognizing openly that we did the wrong thing, and address the pain we’ve caused. In some ways apologizing is simple, but have you ever had someone apologize to you and you just couldn’t accept it because it felt forced, trite, and insincere? Or have you ever apologized to someone, but you knew that you were simply going through the motions of something you’re supposed to do? A sincere and heartfelt apology will go a long way and knowing what a meaningful apology looks like will go a long way in helping you in your relationships when you need to apologize. Why ask for forgiveness? Is it important to apologize and ask for forgiveness? Some people do not want to apologize for anything because doing so would lead them to relinquish their anger, emotional distance, and irritability, which they are more comfortable with than vulnerability. Other people struggle with asking for forgiveness because apologizing opens the door to shame, making them feel bad about themselves as people because of what they’ve done. Apologies are threatening to their basic sense of self-esteem and identity, and they would rather not apologize than open themselves up to facing their fears. Apologizing, however, is not traumatic or damaging to either [...]

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Is It Binge Eating or Overeating Disorder?

Is It Binge Eating or Overeating Disorder?

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2021-08-17T20:32:48+00:00July 29th, 2021|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

We have all overeaten at some point – whether at a holiday meal, family celebration, or our favorite restaurant. However, behind these rare occurrences are people who struggle with constant overeating or binge eating uncontrollably at least once a week. Do you find yourself overeating at almost every meal? Have you overeaten so often that you can no longer feel when your stomach is genuinely empty or full? Or do you unconsciously devour a variety of foods at one time, leaving you with physical pain, guilt, shame, and embarrassment? Both binge eating and overeating are mental health disorders that can lead to emotional and physical complications, but you can find healing and help. The Difference Between Overeating and Binge Eating Are you confused about overeating or bingeing? Although both acts include eating much more than the body requires, there are differences between the two disorders. Signs for Overeating Disorder include: Eating larger portions than is necessary Going back for seconds or third helpings with most meals Difficulty feeling full and satiated Frequently overeating to chase away other emotions like anxiety or depression Signs for Binge Eating Disorder include: Eating large amounts of food within a small period, such as two hours Feeling out of control while eating Eating in secret (examples: alone in the car, after the family has gone to bed) Feeling guilt, shame, or embarrassment after a binge Eating until you feel physical pain The effects of too much food are detrimental to your health. First, you may feel physical pain and gastrointestinal problems with overconsumption, followed by tiredness, guilt, self-loathing, and shame. As the overeating or bingeing pattern continues, insulin levels rise and crash, creating a cascade of effects throughout the body. Over time, this can lead to weight gain, obesity, diabetes, and cardiac problems. Respiratory conditions [...]

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On Married Life: Biblical Marriage Advice from a Christian Counselor

On Married Life: Biblical Marriage Advice from a Christian Counselor

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2021-07-02T19:55:53+00:00June 15th, 2021|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Married life, like most things in life, has its difficulties. Every marriage goes through seasons of sunny, clear skies, but there are also times when dark clouds cover the horizon, sometimes for years. Relationships are complex things, and marriage is one of the more complicated ones, and that’s because it’s one of the closest human relationships we can have. You’re spending your life with someone, sharing everything that you have and are with them – the good, the bad, and the ugly. It takes commitment, wisdom, and grace to navigate the many pitfalls that can beset a marriage. Thankfully, we aren’t left to our own devices because the Bible gives us direct advice about how to conduct our relationships in ways that produce meaningful, long-lasting connections with other people. Biblical Advice about Married Life Because marriage was God’s idea, it makes sense to look to what he says about it so that we can do what works for the sake of our marriages. This article will look at what the Bible says about marriage and married life (and relationships in general) so that we can glean wisdom for our lives. Love, honor, and respect. One of the key building blocks of a happy married life is that the two people in the marriage love, honor, and respect one another. In fact, without these three, it’s hard going for any marriage. In several places in the Bible, husbands and wives are reminded to love and respect one another. It’s no mistake that many wedding vows use those very words. When you live with someone for a long time, you get to see them when they are at their best, and when they’re at their worst. The sense of mystery about them can fade, and it’s easy to lose respect for them [...]

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My Boyfriend Has Anger Issues. What Do I Do?

My Boyfriend Has Anger Issues. What Do I Do?

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2021-03-31T19:02:53+00:00March 29th, 2021|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When you love someone, whatever affects and hurts them has a significant impact on you and your life. In a romantic relationship such as between a boyfriend and girlfriend, issues take on an added layer of complexity, because the question of your future together also comes into consideration. When your partner has anger issues, it can deeply affect your relationship, and it raises the question of what you can do about it. Firstly, it’s important to understand what are and aren’t anger issues, and to understand the options available to you at that point. What are Anger Issues? Most people get angry at one point or another in their lives. What causes us to get angry can depend on a variety of things, including whether we are feeling stressed, haven’t slept, or eaten well, and the issue over which our ire is stirred. Anger is one of the emotions given to us by God; experiencing it and expressing it in healthy ways can move us toward meaningful action to remedy whatever may not be right in our orbit. Expressed well, anger can communicate the deep wells of our being and let other people know what we care about and why. Anger issues, on the other hand, signal something more troubling that should be a concern. When someone has anger issues, what that generally means is that they either get angry easily and are therefore angry most of the time, or the way they express their anger is inappropriate in one way or another. Some signs of anger issues in a person’s life include: Frequent anger Uncontrolled anger. They don’t rule their anger; their anger rules them. Physical or verbal abuse. Sometimes they may even damage property when they are angry. They may shout, curse, throw or break things to [...]

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Kids and Decision Fatigue

Kids and Decision Fatigue

By Newbury Park Christian Counseling|2023-10-26T12:47:04+00:00February 22nd, 2021|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Helping kids make decisions can feel like training a horse to gallop across a field of jello – messy, slow, and difficult. We live in a world where we and our children are inundated with stimuli. They see ads for things they want everywhere, they have more pressure and responsibilities than earlier generations, and they’re incredibly busy. Small wonder that it’s hard for kids to make decisions when they have so much to process and take in. As parents, teachers, and caregivers, we want to raise our children to be successful. This includes helping them learn how to make decisions. Adults make an average of 30,000 decisions per day and kids are close to this, too. Setting our children up for a lifetime of successful decision-making can be a game-changer for them. But what about when decision fatigue sets in for them and it seems impossible to make decisions? How do we help them through times like this? How do we discover when it is going on? This article will talk about what decision fatigue is, how you know your child is wrestling with it, and ways to help them through it. Some of these tips (most) are helpful for adults, too, so keep them in your back pocket for the next time you’re facing a difficult decision-making process. What is decision fatigue? Decision fatigue is when we’re unable to decide. It most often occurs during, or right after, periods of stress, transition, trauma, burn-out, overscheduling, or illness. It often happens when you experience many of these factors at once, and it can happen to children and adults. Kids may experience this over a seemingly basic decision like what shirt to wear to school or a bigger decision like if they should do afterschool sports or music programs. Decision [...]

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