Depression or Anger? Signs of Depression in Men

Depression symptoms are often expressed differently in men than in women. If you are a woman, you may have noticed your husband or son withdrawing from you and becoming increasingly angry.

If you are a man, do you feel “off and on edge” most of the time? Are you overwhelmed at work? Are you worried about finances and making mortgage and car payments? Is your family having personal crises like illness, drug abuse, unexpected pregnancy, layoff, or marital strife?

These are legitimate concerns. Often, our stressors are compounded, and that combination can send us on a downward spiral toward depression. But the signs can be confusing. Is your husband depressed or just angry? Does he need therapy for depression or anger management classes?

Stress presents itself in various ways, and two men may not have the same symptoms. Learn the signs of depression in men to get the help you need.

Signs of depression in men

Learning the sign of depression in men can help you identify when your loved one is having a challenging time. Some men withdraw from their families and engage in risky behaviors like extramarital affairs while stressed and depressed. Others drink too much alcohol and become angry and violent. Still, other men may turn to suicidal thoughts. Every man is different in how he handles stress, his past experiences, and his current situation.

The following is a list of the most common signs of depression in men.

Loss of interest in pleasurable activities.

A common sign of depression is a loss of interest in hobbies and activities once enjoyed. Does your husband love to play golf on the weekends? Does he typically unwind after a long day playing computer or video games? When was the last time he participated in any of his favorite hobbies?

Encourage the man in your life to resume some of these activities. If you find yourself with no desire to do any of those fun activities, invite a friend to join you. Sometimes allowing yourself to pal around with a friend in friendly competition can lift your spirits (and build the relationship).

Fatigue.

Depression drains you, leaving you feeling lethargic. Emotions such as anger can also leave you exhausted. This fatigue diminishes motivation and drive. You may not feel like getting out of bed in the morning or doing anything after work except sitting on the couch watching television. A heaviness may settle in your arms and legs like a storm cloud.

If you have fatigue, check with your physician to ensure that you do not have a medical condition. Once cleared, slowly adopt an exercise routine. This could be a mild activity like brisk walking or a little more active such as cycling or weightlifting. Exercise boosts energy levels and self-esteem. Try it for a few days and see how your outlook changes.

Anger or irritability.

Anger and irritability are signs of depression in men. Men process stress and depression differently than women. Instead of crying, they may snap at people over small things. Depressed men may have angry outbursts, confront strangers quickly, and walk around with a “chip” on their shoulders.

If you live with a man, you suspect is depressed and argumentative, try to be understanding, but remind him that the problem is not you – or him. The problem is causing him stress, and he is lashing out at others. When men feel out of control, they may seek to control others. You may want to reach out to a therapist to discuss stress and anger management techniques. Conflict resolution can also be found through therapy.

Sleep changes.

Depression can make it difficult to fall asleep (insomnia) or stay asleep. You may stay up half the night worrying about problems. If you fall asleep, you may awaken at 3:00 a.m. and be unable to go back to sleep. Both scenarios make you extremely tired the next day and decrease your energy.

On the other hand, some men find that depression makes them sleep too much. They use sleep and fatigue to escape, to forget their troubles for a little while. To get back on track, set a sleep schedule and a nightly routine to signal to your brain that it is time for sleep. Avoid screens and food at least a few hours before bed, and engage in calming activities such as journaling, reading, or stretching.

Appetite changes.

Rapid weight gain or loss is also a sign that something is wrong. Depression can lead to comfort eating, which is eating to bury your feelings. When we eat comfort food, the brain releases dopamine, a chemical that makes us feel better. However, the brain wants us to feel better and will continue to crave the release of more dopamine, leading you to consume more comfort food.

If comfort eating or binge eating (consuming hundreds or thousands of calories in two hours a few days a week) is an issue, reach out to a therapist or dietician for help. The impulse to feel good with food and escape from a stressful situation will continue to grow until it causes physical illness.

Feeling sad.

The most noticeable sign of depression is prevalent sadness. This sadness is heavy and oppressive. It keeps your mind focused on worries and fear. This sadness makes it challenging to see the bright side of any situation and often brings other signs, such as fatigue and loss of interest in doing anything.

Feeling sad for prolonged periods is a problem that may require professional help. Suicidal thoughts and ideations may surface in the mind of a depressed person. If you are having suicidal thoughts, reach out for help immediately. Help is only a phone call or click away.

Risky behaviors.

Some men may not realize they are struggling with depression. They may feel out of control and not know how to manage the situations around them. This can lead to abusing alcohol and drugs or engaging in risky behaviors such as extramarital affairs, gambling, and other vices. Risky behaviors can result in financial ruin and physical illnesses.

If your loved one is doing things contrary to what they would normally do, it may be time to seek advice from a therapist. These destructive behaviors can feel like temporary stress relief but will cause significant problems in his life.

Emotionally distanced from loved ones.

Unlike women, who turn to each other for emotional support, men are more likely to withdraw from their loved ones when depressed. Men need time to process their emotions; some are better at compartmentalizing than others. If your husband seems withdrawn emotionally, he may be dealing with overwhelming stressors.

You can support your spouse by being present and letting them know you are willing to give them their space but are always there for them to talk to about their concerns. Try not to criticize your spouse. It may be that he does not know how else to react to these emotions. If his emotional absence is causing problems in your marriage, consider suggesting marriage counseling that will address the mental well-being of both spouses.

Do you need help?

If you feel as if you are floundering, bordering between anger and depression, contact a therapist today. When you know the signs of depression in men, you can catch the symptoms sooner and find ways to beat stress, alleviate depression, and get your life back on track.
You can overcome depression, but it may take getting the proper treatment as depression can stem from various stressors: environment, circumstance, chemical imbalance, childhood, or trauma. Contact our reception team at Newbury Park Christian Counseling today to learn how therapy can help you.

It takes courage to admit when you need help, but it is not a weakness. A man wants to do what is best for his physical and mental health and relationships. Take the first step with Newbury Park Christian Counseling today.