Surviving Infidelity: What to Do After an Affair
A committed, intimate relationship with another person can be a little like an ocean, with depths and shallows, calm and turbulent stretches, and an endless horizon that can seem at once an invitation to adventure and a daunting prospect. Within a marriage or other committed romantic relationship, the people commit to stick by each other and be faithful to one another. They form a union that sets them apart for each other, but that union can encounter a serious squall in the form of infidelity. Infidelity is a reality that has plagued relationships likely for as long as there have been relationships. Websites, magazines, movies, songs, social media, and more are constantly abuzz with infidelity and engage it from one angle or another. It functions as a plot point in films, or as fodder for salacious gossip about a celebrity or politician. These different spaces sometimes suggest ways to cheat without getting caught, give ideas for surviving infidelity, and even promote different types of infidelity. Amid all this, it’s helpful to get a clear-eyed perspective that draws on Biblical wisdom to understand not only why infidelity happens, but its human cost and ways to repair the damage it causes. What is infidelity? The word infidelity doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. For some people, infidelity is about having sex with a person other than the one you’re in a committed relationship with. This would include situations as diverse as a one-night stand with a stranger or colleague, soliciting prostitution or making use of an escort service, or a long-term affair. Some consider kissing infidelity, while others only consider sex to be infidelity. For other people, infidelity includes having a deep emotional entanglement with someone other than your spouse, whether or not it includes sexual intercourse. And others consider [...]
