Spiritual Development

In every relationship, be it at work or in your personal life, there comes a time when things go wrong. Promises are made and they aren’t kept, thoughtless actions happen, or words are spoken that should not have been. When that happens, we have several options. We can choose to double down and defend ourselves for what we said, did, or didn’t say or do. Some people will go as far as gaslighting others, telling them that they never said or did what they are being accused of. Or we can choose to apologize, recognizing openly that we did the wrong thing, and address the pain we’ve caused. In some ways apologizing is simple, but have you ever had someone apologize to you and you just couldn’t accept it because it felt forced, trite, and insincere? Or have you ever apologized to someone, but you knew that you were simply going through the motions of something you’re supposed to do? A sincere and heartfelt apology will go a long way and knowing what a meaningful apology looks like will go a long way in helping you in your relationships when you need to apologize. Why ask for forgiveness? Is it important to apologize and ask for forgiveness? Some people do not want to apologize for anything because doing so would lead them to relinquish their anger, emotional distance, and irritability, which they are more comfortable with than vulnerability. Other people struggle with asking for forgiveness because apologizing opens the door to shame, making them feel bad about themselves as people because of what they’ve done. Apologies are threatening to their basic sense of self-esteem and identity, and they would rather not apologize than open themselves up to facing their fears. Apologizing, however, is not traumatic or damaging to either [...]